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Jul. 15th, 2014 10:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
llyrafantasyfaeI'm hanging in there. Picture proof.
Yes I am a goofball. Dress still needs to be hemmed, and snaps put in to close it.
My shoes are almost done! I was a little afraid the rhinestones made it look cheesy but its growing on me.
My beading so far. I have even gotten a bit further then this picture. Bead count so far 1300. Thank goodness for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nuranar. She's my inspiration. She's just as crazy as me if not crazier because she's gotten the back of hers done also.
I think my husband summed up most of whats going on for me yesterday. He said " When you shoot for Pluto nothing else will do. You're not happy with the moon or even Venus. If you want Pluto that's all that's going to make you happy." It maybe corny but its true. If you haven't figured out with reading my posts I am an extreme perfectionist. Yes there are a lot of things I could care less about, but if I set my mind on something, it has to be perfect.
So getting a C on my first quiz followed by a D on my second quiz.... and spending hours upon hours trying to understand this stuff but just not... The only way I can compare the feeling is to compare it to drowning. I get an occasional gasp of air but most of the time shear panic. Cue Anxiety attacks which make no logical sense since they don't help a damn thing.... but try telling them that. It only ends up making me depressed. I recognized the cycle and decided to pull away from things in hopes it wouldn't spread.
I did find something that was very surprising to me. In that state the things I found most calming, were the anal retentive details on my shoes. Making sure lines were perfectly straight and stuff like that. I'm glad the anxiety/depression didn't spread to my sewing/crafting. It's nice to have a something to escape to. I am so excited for CoCo. Even if I don't get my beading done. I want to see everybody and all their pretty things. And I may not have as much as I wanted done, but I will have new things that I am quite proud of. A tad bit over two weeks!
Yes I am a goofball. Dress still needs to be hemmed, and snaps put in to close it.
My shoes are almost done! I was a little afraid the rhinestones made it look cheesy but its growing on me.
My beading so far. I have even gotten a bit further then this picture. Bead count so far 1300. Thank goodness for
nuranar. She's my inspiration. She's just as crazy as me if not crazier because she's gotten the back of hers done also.I think my husband summed up most of whats going on for me yesterday. He said " When you shoot for Pluto nothing else will do. You're not happy with the moon or even Venus. If you want Pluto that's all that's going to make you happy." It maybe corny but its true. If you haven't figured out with reading my posts I am an extreme perfectionist. Yes there are a lot of things I could care less about, but if I set my mind on something, it has to be perfect.
So getting a C on my first quiz followed by a D on my second quiz.... and spending hours upon hours trying to understand this stuff but just not... The only way I can compare the feeling is to compare it to drowning. I get an occasional gasp of air but most of the time shear panic. Cue Anxiety attacks which make no logical sense since they don't help a damn thing.... but try telling them that. It only ends up making me depressed. I recognized the cycle and decided to pull away from things in hopes it wouldn't spread.
I did find something that was very surprising to me. In that state the things I found most calming, were the anal retentive details on my shoes. Making sure lines were perfectly straight and stuff like that. I'm glad the anxiety/depression didn't spread to my sewing/crafting. It's nice to have a something to escape to. I am so excited for CoCo. Even if I don't get my beading done. I want to see everybody and all their pretty things. And I may not have as much as I wanted done, but I will have new things that I am quite proud of. A tad bit over two weeks!
