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[llyrafantasyfae]

Hey guys. I could really use a bit of a confidence boost. Mine is kind of low. I am doing a new cosplay. Where most would not say it's overly risky. It's above my knees, and my lower half is the part of me that I hate the most. I am trying the fake it till I make it routine, so I booked a photo session with one of the professionals at SDCC.... But really intimidated right now. 😓

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[starlightmasque.livejournal.com]

Also, We have an enormous waterpark near us (Wings and Waves!) and it is very expensive to get in, so we never go. But, My brother decided to hold his birthday party there-- DAMMMIT-- so I decided I was just going to wear my bathing suit, but I was just going to hang out somewhere hidden and not really play. Because I'm fat. Because I'm old. Because I looks awful in my bathing suit. Well, once we got there it looked like so much fun! I decided right then and there to just say FUCK IT and go have a good time. I was totally liberated. I went down all the chutes and slides and didn't care who was checking out my cellulite. I actually did not care that all my flab was hanging out, I was having an awesome time. That felt so good. I always remember that day when I'm feeling self conscious, and I remember how damn good it felt to be free of all those inhibitions weighing me down and just have the time of my life.

And you know what? No one gave a damn about me and my flab. Everyone was too busy having a great time. I think we are our own worst enemies when it come to body image. Learning that I DON'T CARE what people are thinking was the best thing that ever happened to me.