(no subject)

[llyrafantasyfae]

 After crying my eyes out, and then getting a little kitty cuddle therapy.  I tried to make sense out of what was going on exactly in my head and why I was so crazy upset about it.
This is what I came up with. Of course I may just be showing how crazy I really am....
I have no one around here that understand my passion. My husband tolerates it but I am fairly certain he thinks I am odd too. I miss San Diego for that fact. One of my good friends who I absolutely admire lived just down the street, and its where I was introduced to the masquerades and that whole angle of costuming. Out here.. nada... Until Halloween... but mostly its, "oh, she still plays dress up.*sneer*" So when I go to Costume College I am excited to be surrounded by others "like" me.  But then I run into my own insecurities. mandie_rw put it perfectly. Paraphrased only slightly. I haven't got the guts to go talk to a group of costumers who are clearly WAY more fabulous than I will ever hope to be. They all know each other and don't really need another mediocre seamstress around, especially such an awkward, introverted one.

And I don't want to act like everyone is mean and snobbish there. I know they are hanging out with friends that they see maybe once a year, so lots of catch up and what not, not just ignoring. Okay I think I am just rambling but thats what I came up with.  

Comments

[gilded-garb.livejournal.com]

I want to hang out with you! I got to talk to you a little bit on the bus to the fabric tour last year, but it's hard to socialize during something like that. I'll be honest - I have a hard time connecting faces with names so I feel like a total heel going up to someone I think I recognize and saying, "Hey, do I know you?" I also have a hard time remembering people's real names, so there's that too.

I totally get where you're coming from though. Sometimes I look at the people I hang out with at Costume College and wonder why such fabulous costumers are willing to be seen with me. So you're not alone in that insecurity!

[llyrafantasyfae.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting. Sometimes its nice to know I am not the only insecure one. And I would never have guessed, because you are one I admire.
I promise I won't be mad if you don't remember my name. That's what the name tags are for. *grin*