(no subject)

[llyrafantasyfae]

I wanted to make sure I thanked everyone who put in ANY type of input into my Victorian Explorer dress. I appreciate ALL of it. From just an opinion on what looks better to the History and why behind certain choices. Really THANK YOU. Even though I sometimes still felt stupid for having to ask, "I've been doing this for 12 years, I should know this! I shouldn't have to ask", the answers didn't make me feel stupid. I'm in a weird place mentally which is probably to be expected with all the life changes going on right now. And I know its carrying over to my sewing also.  I am trying to figure out where I want to go in life, and it carries over to where to I want to go with my sewing.  koshka_the_cat's blog post about perfectionism, came at the perfect/worst time. Depends on how you want to look at it. :) Either way it got me to thinking even more then I  already am. I plan to write about it. And when I am done if it makes any type of sense, and isn't just a bunch of embarrassing rambling I may post it.
Another thing I am struggling with, is, I would like to take steps into making a bigger presence online but then my insecurities come up and I wonder if I even have anything worth offering. Take the Victorian Explorer as an example, and all the questions I asked with it. My personal Online Costuming Superheros never seem to have questions or road blocks. They just seem to magically produce beautiful things, that leave me thinking I should stick the the sidelines. And while I don't mind watching the game and playing cheerleader, I'm also at the point I would like to play a few innings. I don't just want to be on the sidelines but I don't want to get crushed from playing out of my league. I am hoping I can transition with baby steps. I think the hardest part is knowing how easy it is to be snarky and mean online. I still remember how crushing it was to me my second year at CoCo, 1st year alone, when I approached a costumer I had held in high regard and asked her a question about her costume. She looked me up and down, all but sneered, gave me a 3 word answer and walked away. I didn't run back to my room and cry, even though I wanted to, but I did debate on not returning the next year.  Thankfully I did return and the positive is now leaps and bounds higher then that one crushing event. I am hoping increasing my online presence will be much the same, with the positive far out weighing the bad. I still have a lot of thinking about what and how I exactly want to approach this, but this post is my first tentative baby step.
Have I rambled enough for you yet?

Comments

[countessof-roth.livejournal.com]

OMG that's AWFUL like, would it have killed her to be gracious? i mean, if she had to go somewhere she could very well have said "i'm terribly sorry i don't have time to talk to you about it now, but here's my email-"


That's why I really like Koshka- I can FREAKING TELL she's as kind in person as her dresses are beautiful.

[llyrafantasyfae.livejournal.com]

I wish I knew. I've always been told she's a very nice person so maybe I just caught her at the wrong time.
And you're right, she's a complete doll. :)

[ktlovely.livejournal.com]

I had an experience like that once, where I met someone who I'd seen around on various costuming forums and she was very cold...which surprised me because she seemed perfectly nice online. I stewed over that for a year or more until I happened to meet her again at a different, smaller event and we actually ended up getting along really well. I'll never know why she was so dismissive the first time, but I would encourage you not to beat yourself up about that one instance. Things might yet work out for the best, and if nothing else you don't deserve to carry that hurt around with you anymore! *hugs*

[jubilima.livejournal.com]

What a terrible person! I can't believe someone would react like that. I'm a big fan of your costumes, and I'm glad you weren't discouraged from coming back to CoCo!

I get what you're saying about how some costumers seem to know how to do things perfectly. But a lot of it is just smoke and mirrors...and confidence. We don't all know everything about historical clothing. And some people are more gifted with sewing skills, so they can cut and fit and drape better, and improve their skills faster, than others. Other than that...there's a lot of stabbing in the dark going on. And good photos sell, too.

[llyrafantasyfae.livejournal.com]

I think the main thing will be the confidence. Once I can conquer that the biggest hurdle will be over.

[starlightmasque.livejournal.com]

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Someone actually treated you like that? How terrible of her!

As far as being an online presence-- just do it! You are so unique and come up with very cool concepts in cosplay-- who wouldn't want to read your posts and see how you came up with all this cool stuff? All the "superstar costumers" you admire were all in your shoes at one point, with the same questions... should I? Who would care? Will people be mean? The answer was of course, yes! Lots! and, NO! I've been costume blogging for many years now, and no one has ever said an unkind thing to me. (I would tell them to FOAD if they did anyhow. You can control who you are connected to-- delete, block, ban, unfriend! No one has time for trolls.) I have no clue what I'm doing most the time, every project has a new set of challenges and I certainly don't have the answers for them without help! It doesn't stop me from posting what I like to post about. Don't let your fears about not being the best of the best stop you. You have a valuable point of view, you are creative and beautiful, and you are worth listening to!

[llyrafantasyfae.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I teared up reading your reply.

[ktlovely.livejournal.com]

You know, one of the things I love about LJ and the costuming people here is that absolutely everyone (at least that I know) is super awesome about answering questions. When I first started doing 1860s, I basically posted on my LJ "HOW DO!?!?" and got so, so much help, and nobody was like "ugh why can't you just do your own research" or "ugh how do you not automatically know this?" Everyone was great about giving me sources, advice, pattern recommendations, instructions, etc. I have a tag for "ask on lj" because it's legit one of my best internet sources--and it also fosters great discussions.

Another thing I really like about costuming, sewing, and history is that there's always something left to learn. Just because you've been doing it for X years doesn't mean you ought to know everything, or even mostly everything! Especially now with so many more resources available online, we're constantly discovering new information--historical details, sewing techniques, you name it. We're all always learning, so don't let yourself feel silly for not knowing something. :)

Also, there's a saying I really like about doing creative stuff. I don't remember the exact quote, but it's something along the lines of "in order to make really good stuff, you have to make a lot of not-so-good stuff." Basically, it takes time and practice to become really good at something, and a lot of artists and creative people tend to be really dissatisfied with their own work. I know for me, every time I make a new dress/corset/whatever, I learn something new and so the next time I do it, I do things differently. There have been far fewer times in my life that I've finished a project and gone, "oh yeah, that is exactly what I wanted" than when I finished and said, "well, it's not great but it fits, it stays on, now I know what to do the next time." It can be a little discouraging, but that's all part of the creative process and the times when I DO say "oof, yes, this is exactly right" are totally worth it.

[llyrafantasyfae.livejournal.com]

I agree! I do love that about LJ. I have this fear of people getting sick of reading my post because of the questions.
I definitely know the "next time I will do this or that differently". EVERY project comes with tons of those. But those are the ones I can live with. Otherwise its been ripped out to be redone or thrown into the naughty corner and never sees the light of day.

[the-aristocat.livejournal.com]

I don't know anyone who wouldn't have any questions or road blocks every now and then. Some are more private when dealing with it preferring to do the research on their own etc. and some like being social and ask others. And you do have a lot to offer so if you feel like having a bigger online presence, you should go for it! Of all the vast amount of hugely talented people I was lucky enough to meet at Costume College last year you were one of those that stood out to me and I wanted to get to know better online. There's always a risk of someone being snarky of rude but it will get lost under the positive I'm sure.

[llyrafantasyfae.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this. You are one of those on my Online Costuming Superhero's list, so to hear (or read) you say that makes me blush.

[trinnyt.livejournal.com]

The greatest thing about blogging about your costuming journey is that you can see just how far you have come in time.

I've had similar experiences from reenactors who I thought alot of, and it just makes me more determined to not be that way!

I enjoy reading your stuff anyway, and I know I don't comment all that often, but I am reading! :)

And I would LOVE to come to Costume College one day. I keep trying to convince my hubby we should do that one trip to the USA... I'll send him to his family, and I'll head to costume college! :D